I started the year out strong with goals, intentions and structure. For the most part, doing fairly well, although sitting here feeling very guilty for eating a less than stellar today. I don’t want to talk about it – but I do feel nauseous and shame. I am definitely in food jail. Even when you go off the tracks a little – that darn conscious and stomach get in the way. Needless to say, we have moments where we slip and I guess this is one of them. So, before I go to bed and pay the bill with scary dreams and indigestion, I thought I would write cause it has been awhile. I am thankful that I just bought a new bed wedge that elevates my head and I think it helps.
It is very easy to stay in my little bubble which I do quite often. I have built a sanctuary in my home where I can work, exercise, cook and entertain myself. I suppose it has been a safe response to the craziness happening in the world today. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined how out of alignment everything seems. Maybe I was naive, I guess I just never felt this amount of chaos, parallel reality as I do today. It feels all kinds of crazy and I hope that we can get back to a steady state and peace around the world. There is room for everyone and I wish we could honor and respect one another.
On a more tactical note, I have been really taking stock of my life and trying to move towards people and interests that serve me well. So you ask what is that? Here they are in no particular order.
- Tarot Cards – I became interested in them a few years ago when I took a class at Miraval. Isabelle and I enjoyed our course together and then getting our cards read. Tarot has been around since ancient times and they are a good tool to capture a spiritual weather report. For the last two years, I have been pulling cards on myself, friends, (anyone who is interested). I have a great journal where I write about the energy for the day and I place my cute stickers resembling the cards in the book. This is how I start everyday and I find it grounds me as good as a cup of coffee. It is also great fun, to watch tarot card readers on YouTube and see if they pulled the same cards as me and generally they do. It is wild and satisfies my childhood joy of stickers and smiley faces to indicate my mood.
- Weight Training – Once a dreaded part of my day has turned into something I look forward to as well (usually – but of course not tonight). I have invested over the years in a fully stocked home gym and I am doing exercises I never thought I could or would. I have not been known for being physically strong (mentally yes) and I am seeing that I am able to lift heavier and making progress. My balance has always been below average and I even think that is improving. I am able to do lunges, squats and all kind of moves that I would never have imagined. There is something to feeling strong that makes you believe you can move mountains. I am woman hear me roar… well I am not quite there but it is aspirational … 💪
- Cooking – Unfortunately the chef is no longer with me but the desire to create has stayed. I learned a lot and now feel much more confident in the kitchen. Trying to make newly imagined dishes from a bean, lentil or vegetable before they go bad continues to be my sport. I am impressed with my newly acquired skill. I will say – it takes so damn long. I have become a weekend warrior plugging out bulk dishes to last me the entire week. Some things don’t quite make it – like salad – but I try until I can’t eat it anymore. Isabelle turned me onto Ethiopian lentils and all I can say is yum on that one. 😋
- Meditation – I am still dedicated to chakra balancing and have added new tools to up my clients experience with very positive results which makes me happy to help people feel better. I have been designating 11 minutes 11 seconds every other night to go into a silent state and hear what I am supposed to know from the universe. I typically am able to relax but honestly I feel like I enter a void. Once the time is over, I go to my journal where I start spontaneously writing – it is very cathartic and healing. I am not sure if I could bypass the meditation and just journal but I think it is a combo deal. I am building this practice and it really helps ground me and feel tapped into something bigger than me.
- Eclectic Friend Group – I am also enjoying my gal pals (there are a few dudes) from all over the country. It is fun to pick up the phone, FaceTime or go for walks as we all try to figure out this thing called life. I am glad that I have expanded my horizons and associate with these amazing women that I can laugh with, debate with, cry with (not as much of that – thank goodness) and just have a real experience. Feeling grateful that I have a full life there that is just a text away.
Well that was quite an update as I keep busy during the winter. It has been a reflective and continuous improvement time as I hit a major birthday milestone. I cannot control the world around me but only try to raise the vibration. However, I can take charge of my pie hole and honor myself by eating well to avoid the self imposed guilt when I stray. I guess never every moment is perfect.. but a girl can still try. Tomorrow I will do better…
Seeking Wellness 