I have been thinking about how exciting it used to be as children to go outside,  find friends and play (probably not something our kids can do today – which is unfortunate).  The joy to be carefree and get immediate gratification by merely just running out the door to see who was around and ready to get some fun on.  Oh, those were the days and now it seems like an impossible feat to drop what we are doing at the moment, like deciding to enjoy the girlfriends instead of picking the dog up from the groomer.  Mel Robbins talks about this in her book “The Let Them Theory” that adult friendships are indeed more difficult because you must have three pillars which include proximity, timing, and energy and all are essential to maintaining meaningful relationships.  When we were young, it was built into our lives and made things so much easier.  I miss the spontaneity and free flow that life used to offer to me.  Now we see friends during a random encounter, and we throw out that vague statement, we should get together….  It rarely happens because it is a hassle to coordinate schedules, commit to a future date (and this is totally my thing – like what happens if I am not in the mood to see you in a month?  It is my  critical flaw – hey just being honest).  It’s just not exciting and I wonder.. WHY ARE WE SO BUSY ALL THE TIME?  What are we really doing?  If I see you and am feeling impulsive– I just want to go now, catch up and be silly.  Our lives are bogged down with work, the kids, other stuff, and we are walking around our time on earth like zombies, dulling joy and not prioritizing these key connection points that are vital (and I am equally guilty about all the stuff I just reflected on).

Have you noticed when you do finally have that coffee or meal with your dear friend, you say,  why didn’t we do this sooner?  We need to make this happen more! … but it never does.  I recently had a group of ladies over that I really like and admire.  This was an eclectic group, and I sent invites out about three weeks ahead of time.  I knew if I tried to coordinate schedules, the afternoon tea would not come together.  I knew that if I invited twenty or so, I would only get 60% and figured, I am going for it.  It was on February 22^nd at 2:00 p.m. which represents in the spiritual world balance, harmony, and alignment.  As busy ladies, we never have a chance to kick back and chill on a Saturday afternoon.  I had been feeling very nostalgic and wanted to use my mother’s china dishes and teacups, kind of a nod to the women before me.  We did a gentle stretch session led by my friend Vanessa (check her out at CelyFit) and then we enjoyed an afternoon tea with finger food.  The day was all about making connections and having meaningful conversations.  We went around the table and answered questions about inspiration and gratitude.  I could see that everyone was very Zen and open – it was a great few hours of grounding and loving the female energy.  Time went by fast and as expected, people trickled out to meet their daily commitments once again.  And that was that… I received many notes and calls about how nice it was to just slow down and meet one another.  That made me happy as I fully enjoyed each one of my friends. 

I guess the point of all my rambling is … we need to be available for girlfriends and step out of routine and day to day demands.  A major part of wellness and mental health is having “your people” around you.  They are the ones who are unconditional, like you for all your attributes and subtle flaws. You can instantly cut through the bullshit, false premise and be real.   I recently had my best friend Marla intown and we were able to have a quick dinner with our other pal Renee (my two friends who read all my blogs and keep my followers up to about 10 people – ha-ha).  We were able to make plans last minute and it was like coming home (although I was home – but you get the gist).  Your friends are your anchors in life.  You can sit together reminisce, talk about things you would never discuss with others (and it is funny – relationships, growing old, weird physical changes in your body).  Nothing is better than a deep belly laugh and that was what it was like.  We were in college again, listening to the Go-Go’s, playing Trivial Pursuit and of course drinking cheap alcohol.  At that time, we would wonder what the future had in store for us;  never did we imagine our adult lives would overtake our time and we would have to schedule our most special moments.  I need my girlfriends (and yes, a few of my guy friends too 😊) and am going to commit consciously to be more available and present because my relationships are fuel for my soul.  On another note, I am initial stages of the exploration of a senior kibbutz type situation in the United States (and when I say initial I mean, I just have been thinking about it and maybe a short internet search).  A concept  where we can all come together in our later years to be able to recreate a thriving  and connected community.  If I am being candid, this may involve just the gals (our guys can visit – maybe? side glance)  Wishing everyone a happy Mercury Retrograde (you may not be feeling so great now – it will pass by April 7 – hang in there).  And call your friend and just go out immediately, you will be glad you did!!